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            溜須拍馬令人嗤

            2018-01-25 15:59:05作者:荊墨打印訂閱
            [導讀]人們為何這么喜歡溜須拍馬呢?一者“楚王好細腰,宮中多餓死”,二者俗話說得好“干得好不如說得好”。
            
            
                            
            
              溜須拍馬歷來為人不齒。“溜須”一詞源于宋代。名相寇準有一門生叫丁謂,一次進餐時,寇準胡須上沾上了飯粒。丁謂瞧見,忙上前將飯粒從胡須上小心順下,極盡奴媚之態,后人稱這種行為是“溜須”。“拍馬”一詞,起源于元代。蒙古人平日牽馬與人相遇時,習慣于互拍對方的馬屁股說:“好馬!”以示贊賞。但有些人趨炎附勢,不管對方馬之優劣,都拍馬屁股稱贊:“好馬,好馬! ”久之,“拍馬”就成了阿諛奉承的代名詞。
              溜須拍馬也有術,即使一些名士也未能免俗。明初翰林學士解縉,堪稱一代雄才。一天,朱元璋對他說:“昨天宮里出了件事,你吟首詩吧。 ”解縉猜測皇帝得了兒子,開口吟道:“君王昨夜降金龍。”誰知朱元璋卻說:“是個女孩兒。”解縉馬上改口:“化作嫦娥下九重。”一個“化”字,“金龍”變成了“嫦娥”。朱元璋說:“可惜,生下來就死了。 ”解縉馬上一轉:“料是世間留不住。”朱元璋又說:“已把她扔到水里去了。 ”解縉立刻吟道:“翻身跳入水晶宮。 ”總之,馬屁真是拍到家了。
              清朝才子紀曉嵐,陪乾隆到山東出巡,路過獻縣,他把皇帝讓到自己家里。獻縣小棗很有名,核小肉厚,甘甜異常。乾隆邊吃邊贊:“這樣好的棗子,朕還是第一次吃到。 ”紀曉嵐接著也說:“臣也是第一次吃到。 ”皇帝以為紀曉嵐騙他,甚是不快,沉著臉說:“愛卿生在這里,長在這里,30歲以后進京,為何說是第一次吃到?欺君罔上是有罪的。 ”紀曉嵐馬上跪下稟道:“恕臣奏明,臣家鄉小棗,廣有種植,但此前并無特色,今年出奇地甜美,實是圣上駕臨,降福家鄉所致,臣該謝主隆恩! ”一席話說得乾隆轉怒為笑,心里真比棗還甜。乾隆當然知道紀曉嵐在騙他,但假話聽起來就是舒服。
              拍馬也有拍到馬蹄子上的。雍正年間有個太常寺卿鄒汝魯就被狠狠踢了一腳,差點為此喪命。話說雍正四五年之交,黃河出現清流現象。他就寫了《河清頌》,拿“舊染維新,風移俗易”來歌頌雍正。但雍正卻火冒三丈:“這是出于什么心寫的,風俗變成什么樣了?這么荒謬悖理的話,是嘲笑我的統治沒有康熙時仁厚了嗎?”于是把他交到刑部嚴審,刑部判了個“斬立決”。雍正又為了表示自己的仁厚,免了他的絞刑,把他發配到荊州修水利去了。
              人們為何這么喜歡溜須拍馬呢?一者“楚王好細腰,宮中多餓死”,二者俗話說得好“干得好不如說得好”。所以,有人把溜須拍馬歸類為“權謀術”,看來不無道理。其實,說是“權謀術”,倒不如稱“謀權術”更準確。但用溜須拍馬謀來的權,又是什么權呢?歷史證明,一旦“馬屁精”撈到或大或小的權,必定互相勾結,恣意妄為。當丁謂上臺后,首先向寇準開刀,置寇準于死地。這類人過去有,現在有,將來還會有!
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